Imposter Syndrome: Why Women with ADHD Struggle With Impostor Feelings
- jthill
- Nov 13
- 4 min read
Updated: 3 hours ago
For many women with ADHD, especially those diagnosed later in life, a diagnosis can feel like both a relief and a reckoning. Finally, there’s an explanation for all those years of overwhelm, disorganization, and emotional intensity.
But right alongside the validation often comes a wave of doubt:
“Do I really have ADHD, or am I just lazy?”
“Maybe I’m too high-functioning so it doesn't count.”
“My family doesn’t believe me… what if they’re right?”
These thoughts are more than just self-doubt, they’re a reflection of something many high-achieving women know all too well: impostor syndrome.
What Is Impostor Syndrome?
Impostor syndrome is that nagging belief that you’re a fraud, that you’ve somehow fooled everyone into thinking you’re competent, capable, or successful. Even when the evidence says otherwise, the inner critic insists you’ve just been lucky… and any minute now, people will find out the truth.
For women with ADHD, impostor syndrome can run deep. It’s not just questioning your success, it’s questioning your own diagnosis, your experiences, and even your right to seek support.
So why are impostor feelings so common among women with ADHD?
Growing Up Undiagnosed
Many women with ADHD spend years, sometimes decades, without a diagnosis. Instead of understanding their brains as different, they internalize the message that they’re undependable, lazy, emotional, or “too much.”
To cope, they develop compensating strategies: perfectionism, people-pleasing, overworking, and hyper-vigilance. These habits can help them function, even thrive, but they also reinforce the belief that success requires constant effort and that if they ever let up, they’ll be “found out.”
When a diagnosis finally comes later in life, it can feel both validating and destabilizing. You finally have clarity, but the old doubts don’t just vanish. Many women wonder, “If I’ve made it this far without knowing, is it really ADHD, or am I just making excuses?”
The Role of Masking
Another major factor is masking. Masking occurs when you consciously or unconsciously mimic neurotypical behavior to try to fit in. You put on a socially acceptable “face” even when it doesn’t match what’s happening inside. And it is common in ADHD women, especially those diagnosed later in life.
Women with ADHD often learn early on to hide their differences. They study social cues, suppress their restlessness, force eye contact, or overcompensate with charm and humor. From the outside, they seem confident and capable. Inside, they’re often exhausted and anxious, terrified someone will notice the cracks in the facade.
The cruel irony? The better you are at masking, the less “valid” your struggles can feel. Because you don’t match the outdated stereotype of the hyperactive little boy who can’t sit still, you might question whether your ADHD “counts.”
The Comparison Trap
Another reason impostor feelings take hold is comparison. When you see ADHD represented online or in the media, the stories often feature people whose symptoms look very different from yours. Maybe they struggled to hold jobs or had obvious academic challenges, while you’ve been successful on paper, but at a massive personal cost.
You might think, “I’m too functional to really have ADHD.” But functioning well doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling; it just means you’ve learned how to survive despite it. ADHD doesn’t look the same for everyone, and that diversity of experience doesn’t make anyone’s reality less true.
Breaking Free From Impostor Feelings
While impostor feelings are common, they don’t have to define your relationship with your ADHD. Here are a few ways to start shifting the narrative.
1. Remember that masking doesn’t erase ADHD. It’s evidence of resilience in an unsupportive environment.
2. See your diagnosis as information, not a test. You don’t have to “prove” ADHD by struggling in a specific way.
3. Find community. Hearing “me too” from other late-diagnosed women can be profoundly validating.
4. Challenge internalized ableism. Worth is not measured by productivity, visibility of struggle, or how much you can push through. Unlearning those beliefs is a radical act of self-compassion.
Final Thoughts
Whether you were diagnosed at 8 or 48, whether your symptoms are loud or quiet, whether you’re thriving or still finding your footing, your experience is real. You are not an impostor. The real fraud is the outdated system that failed to see you sooner.
It’s time to stop doubting your story and start owning it.
If this struck a chord, you’re not alone. So many women with ADHD spend years doubting themselves or working twice as hard just to feel “good enough.” At Everyday Greatness Coaching, we help women quiet the impostor voice, understand their brains, and create a life that actually feels like theirs. Contact EGC to schedule your free 30 Minute discovery call today.
And if you’d like to hear more honest conversations about ADHD, imposter syndrome and all the emotions that come with a late diagnosis, check out Angry on the Inside, the podcast I co-host with my fellow ADHD coach, Jessica. Each week we dive into what it really feels like to live with ADHD, while sharing community, compassion, and a little humor along the way. Hit play and come hang out with us!
