Understanding ADHD Masking: Does it Help or Hurt?

If you live with ADHD, you might already know what it feels like to hide your struggles from the people around you. Maybe you’ve pretended to be paying attention when your mind wandered, made up a “reasonable” excuse for being late, or tried to keep yourself from fidgeting in a meeting.

This is called ADHD masking—and while it can sometimes feel helpful in the moment, it often comes at a cost. Masking is exhausting. It can chip away at your confidence, strain your mental health, and leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and others.

What Is ADHD Masking?

Masking is the act of covering up or compensating for ADHD symptoms in order to fit in, avoid judgment, or meet what society labels as “normal.” It’s not about being fake—it’s about trying to protect yourself and your relationships.

Research shows that women with ADHD are especially likely to mask, often because their symptoms don’t match the stereotypes of ADHD we usually hear about.

Examples of ADHD Masking

Masking can look different depending on whether you’re trying to cover inattentive symptoms or hyperactive/impulsive ones.

Masking Inattentive ADHD Symptoms

• Making excuses for lateness or distraction

• Working longer hours than others to stay on track

• Double- and triple-checking your work to avoid mistakes

• Arriving way too early to prevent being late

• Setting multiple alarms

• Writing down everything

  
  

Masking Hyperactive/Impulsive Symptoms

• Staying quiet to avoid interrupting

• Overthinking your words before speaking

• Suppressing your energy so you seem calm

• Forcing yourself not to fidget

  
  

The Hidden Costs of Masking

Masking can make you feel like you’re living two lives:

• The real you (when you’re alone or with people you trust)

• The masked version of you (around coworkers, acquaintances, or in social settings)

Over time, this constant act can:

• Drain your emotional and mental energy

• Contribute to depression and anxiety

• Fuel perfectionism and low self-esteem

• Lead to burnout

• Leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood

  
  

Masking vs. Managing ADHD

It’s important to remember that masking is not the same as managing ADHD.

• Masking = hiding symptoms so others don’t notice

• Managing = finding strategies to support yourself (organization tools, time management techniques, coaching, therapy, or medication)

The goal isn’t to “pretend you don’t have ADHD”, it’s to learn ways of working with your brain so you can thrive without losing yourself in the process.

Tips for Unmasking

Unmasking doesn’t mean you share everything with everyone, it means slowly allowing yourself to be more authentic and finding healthier ways to cope.

Here are a few steps to help you start:

1. Notice when you mask. Pay attention to the situations or people that trigger it. Reflect on whether the behavior is protective, or if it’s draining you.

2. Find healthier alternatives. Instead of forcing yourself to endure a draining event, allow yourself to leave early. Instead of suppressing emotions, practice expressing them with a therapist or in a safe space.

3. Share your challenges. Open up to trusted friends or family about your ADHD. Sometimes simply letting others in makes a huge difference.

4. Seek professional support. Medication, therapy, or ADHD coaching can help you build strategies that make daily life easier—without hiding who you are.

Final Thought

Masking might feel like a survival skill, but it can hold you back from living authentically. By allowing others to see the real you, you not only lighten your emotional load, you also invite deeper connections and stronger support.

Remember: ADHD is just one part of who you are. You don’t need to perform or pretend to be worthy of love, success, or happiness. Celebrate your strengths, honor your uniqueness, and give yourself permission to show up as your true self.

---

Are you ready to explore unmasking and finding ADHD-friendly strategies? Let’s connect! Schedule your free 30 minute discovery session today.