Embracing Progress Over Perfection: A Guide for Adults with ADHD

If you have ADHD, you may notice a tendency to think in extremes — everything is either perfect or a complete failure. This “all-or-nothing” (or black-and-white) mindset can take a toll on your self-confidence, your goals, and even your relationships.

For many people with ADHD, perfectionism shows up in subtle but powerful ways. You might set unrealistically high expectations for yourself, assume the worst if you don’t get clear positive feedback, or avoid tasks altogether if you fear you won’t do them perfectly. Over time, this cycle can become exhausting and paralyzing.

The good news? These thought patterns can be shifted. With awareness, small changes, and self-compassion, you can begin to replace perfectionism with progress.

Why ADHD Fuels All-or-Nothing Thinking

ADHD often brings challenges with attention, memory, and task management. Maybe you’ve missed details, made mistakes, or forgotten deadlines. If this has led to years of criticism (or even self-criticism), it makes sense that you’d become hyper-aware of avoiding mistakes.

On top of that, many people with ADHD are more sensitive to feedback. This combination can push you toward two extremes: working tirelessly until something feels “perfect,” or avoiding the task completely out of fear of failure.

Stressors like over stimulation, anxiety, depression, or sensory issues can make this mindset even stronger.

The Dangers of All-or-Nothing Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking might feel motivating at first, but it often backfires. Here’s how it can impact your life:

• Personal Goals: Missing one workout or eating one “off-plan” meal can feel like total failure, causing you to give up instead of keep going.

• Hobbies and Interests: That pile of half-finished projects? It might be the result of perfectionism convincing you it’s not worth continuing unless it’s flawless.

• Relationships: One negative interaction might push you to cut ties completely, or you may assume people don’t like you if they don’t immediately engage.

  
  

This rigid thinking leaves little room for growth, connection, or joy.

How to Shift Away from All-or-Nothing Thinking

Breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about ignoring standards or lowering your goals. It’s about giving yourself permission to be human and creating space for progress over perfection.

1. Reflect on the “Why”

Ask yourself: Why do I feel the need to be perfect? Is it about proving yourself? Wanting approval? Understanding the root can help you challenge those beliefs.

2. Redefine Mistakes

Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, view them as stepping stones. Every attempt, even imperfect ones, teaches you something valuable.

3. Separate “Perfect” from “Done”

Your to-do list doesn’t need to be beautifully written. A workout doesn’t need to be an hour long to count. Done is better than perfect.

4. Set Smaller, Realistic Goals

Break big tasks into manageable steps. Instead of “eat healthy every day,” try “add one vegetable to each meal.” Celebrate these wins; they build momentum.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Notice how you talk to yourself. Replace harsh self-talk with kinder words. When you catch yourself thinking, "I messed up again," try reframing it to, "I’m learning as I go, and that’s okay."

6. Embrace Constructive Criticism

Feedback can sting, but it doesn’t define your worth. Take time to process emotions, then see if there’s something useful to apply.

7. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Everyone’s path looks different. Celebrate your progress and cheer for others without making it a competition.

The Journey to Everyday Greatness

Shifting away from all-or-nothing thinking won’t happen overnight, but each small step matters. With awareness, realistic goals, and self-compassion, you can break free from the trap of perfectionism and open yourself up to growth, fulfillment, and deeper connections.

Remember: progress — not perfection — is the real measure of success.

---

Are you ready to let go of perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking? At Everyday Greatness Coaching, we help adults with ADHD find strategies that help them break free of these thought patterns. Let's connect! Contact EGC today to schedule your free 30 min discovery call.